Miscellaneous

Affinity

He had never met him, but felt something brewing between them. It was an office party with blue coats, black coats roving around like cabs and police vans on a busy day. He agreed to take some strides with his friends in slow steps. They would circle the room and he would slow down his pace a little the moment this man became more visible in the traffic. Many laps passed, and finally this man turned to face him. The man looked as if he knew all the while this gaze which had been calling him, so the man came forward. He started walking towards him as well, clenching the fists too tight, sensing the sweat, putting hands inside the pockets to hide the nervousness of addressing the man. Both of them were coming closer with similar steady steps, “playing it cool” with burning fists hidden in the cloth. Facing each other now, they stood still and a light red light fell on them. He wanted to say something to the man, he was thinking about asking the man’s kinship, because he sensed a strange affinity with this man. His blood was rushing as if aiding the brain to form bonds and remember where he had seen this figure… He stood staring for long, neither saying a word. He felt the bending curves of the man’s brows, his square forehead, sliding down the nose and reaching the lips, he wanted to trace and imprint everything of this man with the eyes. He was confused what kind of face this was, no he would never be able to paint it or describe it. The jaw line he remembered, but forgot it when he walked on the neck line. His fingers wanted to touch this man, but he couldn’t reach his face, his expression perplexed, as if in deep anguish, no not frowning, but meditating on the face which could not be understood.

Among all the hullabaloo, his friends were toasting and they shouted to call him, “Hey Narcimuss, what are you looking in that mirror for? Come, and get yours on the rocks, buddy!”

By: Aashi Kulshrestha B.A.(H) English, Semester VI, (Batch 2018-2021)

Customer Service

(A lady sits at a help desk and a woman approaches, looking eager)

Lady:
Good evening, ma’am. How may I assist you today?
Rita:

Hey, I’d like to return these. (she keeps a purple bag on the counter)
They didn’t really fit.

Lady:
(opens the bag to reveal a pair of black stilettos)
When exactly did you buy these, ma’am?
Rita

I think it was about two weeks ago?

Lady

Do you have a receipt, ma’am?

Rita

I don’t have a receipt but you literally helped me put these on. So. I’m sure you remember.

Lady

I’m sorry, ma’am. We cannot take these back without a receipt.

Rita

Um. I understand. Work. Duty. It’s great. And I respect it. Really, I do. But I spent a lot on these.
And um. They don’t fit and I almost broke my neck trying to walk in them. So, if I could get
refunded, it would be great, you know?

Lady
Sorry, ma’am. No receipt, no refund. Store policy.
(pause)

Rita

Okay. I’ll be right back…
(she leaves and enters after a few seconds – hair tousled and a victorious grin on her face)

Rita

AHA! Here. I knew I’m not that careless. (She keeps a piece of paper on the counter)

Lady

Welcome back, ma’am.

Rita

Well, this is the receipt. As you can see, I bought the shoes from here. (the lady peers at the
receipt)

Rita

It was literally under the car seat and I spent about ten minutes looking for it. I think I’m gonna
take better care of my receipts from now on.
Lady
Ma’am, you purchased these twenty-five days ago.
Rita

Uh huh…

Lady

We are not allowed to refund any purchases beyond the twenty-day mark. I’m sorry.

Rita

Two weeks, three weeks – it’s all really the same if you think about it, right? (she chuckles)

Lady

(chuckles for a while and then stops)
No can do, ma’am. I’m sorry. Store policy.
Rita
Why is that? Why do you have a twenty-day mark?
Lady
That information is classified, ma’am. Store –
Rita

-Policy. We get it (she’s flustered now). Okay, look – (she looks at the lady’s name tag) Linda. I
don’t know what this little act is but your exact words when I tried these on were “They look
absolutely marvelous on you, ma’am. These shoes are perfect for any occasion. You could wear
them for a workplace event or a night out.” And I believe I said “Oh, I don’t know. They’re a
little high and quite uncomfortable.” And then you went “They’re every 20-something’s
wardrobe quintessential, ma’am. They’re the last pair of the season and I assure you, they’re all
the rage.”
Lady

I understand that you might be a little upset ma’am –
Rita

Might?! Linda, Linda, Linda. I’m trying really hard not to be disrespectful here. It’s just a
receipt.

Lady

Ma’am…

Rita

What?

Lady

There’s also the issue of the box. We cannot refund unless the product is returned in its original
packaging.

Rita

No. Absolutely not. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I would like…um…to speak your manager.
(she does her best to look intimidating)
Lady
Very well, ma’am.
(she dials a number on the telephone kept on the counter and a few seconds later, a tall man
appears from behind a door)

Manager

What seems to be the issue, ma’am? (he addresses Rita directly)

Rita

Well, I wanted to return these shoes that I bought from here. But unfortunately, I bought them
twenty-five days ago…

Manager

Ah. I’m afraid we cannot attend to your request. You see, as part of our store pol –

Rita

YOUR STORE POLICY! OF COURSE! God forbid a poor customer try and curve your way
around your precious store policy.
(she’s on the brink of tears now)
NOW LOOK HERE, MISTER. I work at an internet media company that only serves drinks in
mason jars, has neon signs in conference rooms and not to mention, about eight different
versions of a keto menu in its cafeteria. So, trust me when I say I know how annoying and
pretentious twenty something adults can be. But if I have to bear the pain of these crazy stilettos

at a work party while listening to Jessica from Finance spew another word about how her mood
being off depends on her chakras, then I WILL ABSOLUTELY LOSE MY MIND.
(silence)

Manager

Ma’am, if you’d like, we can have you exchange your shoes for a pair of Moccasins.

Rita

Uh…

Manager

Of course, they’re a part of our “Oldie Goldies Collection” but…

Rita

(slowly, almost introspecting)
Wow. Am I becoming a Karen?

Manager

What’s that, ma’am?

Rita

Nothing. I’ll take them. Thanks.